Have not found any lunch buddy since I started work three weeks ago. This is a first. Anyways, since I don't like the idea of lunching alone, I have been spending the one hour doing time alone with God (TWAG). The first few times, I indulged in 'oh so poor thing, no one to lunch with' thoughts but now, I'm looking forward to that one hour and thankful that I have such a nice, comfy corner at work to do TWAG. I'm sure I'll get a lunch buddy eventually, but till then...it feels as if God is determined to spend time with me, to build me up before releasing me into this new season of trials. (Ephesians 6:14- Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist ...)

As Good Friday approaches, I can't help feeling thankful. That a young man (Jesus), at his prime, will give up his life for me ... a scapegoat for my sins. He loved me unconditionally even before I know him .... how beautiful is that? (1 John 4:19 - We love because he first loved us.)

I've been worried since I took on my new job due to the high expectations and various other issues. The repeat message I kept getting from various sources was - Look back at your life, have God ever failed you? (Matthew 14:31- Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?")

Never. God might have put me through trials but he never ever left me though it sure feels that way when I was at rock bottom. However, it's always at that point when I'm force to look to Him and say ... I surrender, your will be done. Yes, my God is a loving God but it's also because of that that he permits trials for me to grow or return to the path I've strayed away from. (Rev 3:19- Those whom I love, I rebuke and discipline)

When I took up my previous job, I was feeling inadequate and I questioned God why. Why do I have to humble myself and beg people for guidance? Why do I have to stand in front of close to hundred participants to present a topic I'm not familiar with? I cried initially wondering if I could but God remained faithful and sent his angels, unexpected help, every single time. Through this experience, I learnt to be teachable and also have no qualms speaking in front of crowds.

The struggles finally made sense during my missions trip to India last year. During the first two days, my teammates were respectively called to share their testimonies in front of various groups. 'Pick me Pastor Kenny ...pick me!!', I'll hope every time but it never happen. I wanted to confront him and demand to share but God told me to wait. Finally, I was assigned to share at a village rally. At that moment, standing on a make-shift stage in front of close to two hundred people, the pieces fell into place and the struggles I've went through in my job made sense, this is what God was preparing me for. I felt like a piece of gem that have been polished by the trials and now I'm ready, ready to shine for God's glory. Another lesson I walked away was not to 'limit' God, I will be contented to share in front of a small group but he had hundreds in mind. (Isaiah 55:9 -As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.)

With that in mind, though I'm struggling in my job now, I know God will eventually use whatever skills I've acquired. Who knows, it might be organising the largest church prayer conference in Singapore or to be a missionary in China. No matter what, I just have to bear in mind that I'm serving the Lord and not man. (Colossians 3:23-Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men)

So, remember not to 'box' God up. Obey and let Him use you for his full glory. Afterall, we've been redeemed by His blood. So, next time you stretch out your hands to worship Him, make it your way of telling Him ... I surrender all ...